I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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