do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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