at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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