I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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