So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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