worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
