I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
