My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
