Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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