She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
