What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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