I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
