You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm too high and old for this...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
