Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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