The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
