if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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