Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
