I need help removing her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize