By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
