i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize