she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
