question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
