I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My vagina is officially offended.
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