The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize