he wants to bone in the snuggie
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
