Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
