My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
