I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
MIDGETS
????
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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