Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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