I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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