if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
