she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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