You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
