And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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