dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
