i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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