he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
