His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
