i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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