Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
