I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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