I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
