Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
