Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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