first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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