the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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