We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
