Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
