Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
