Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i think i just naturally attract stoners
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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