is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugly people sure do ruin things
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
