I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
