Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
