the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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