ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
