I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
