im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize