Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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