My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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