My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
