I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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