can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize